"Have you ever been on a motorcycle?" 31 Jul 2013 | 02:11 am

A commenter notes: "Not enough applause GIFs in the world for this post!" Try. See if you can find enough applause GIFs. If you only know one thing about me, know that I love a GIF. Sometimes, when ...

"Mom said you hit a cow with a chair?" 29 Jul 2013 | 05:18 am

That's what they think of me. They think I'm some mad cow-chair-hitter. I would never do that. What I did was hit the fence with the chair to scare the cow, which I think we can all agree is rational ...

On Country Living 27 Jul 2013 | 12:37 am

So, due to "circumstances," (read: "our roommate spent his rent money on pot and we got evicted") I now live in a historically black farming community in east central Texas with: - Two menopausal wom...

AND MY HAGMAN GIFS AREN'T WORKING AND I HATE EVERYTHING 24 Nov 2012 | 12:06 pm

And it seems to me you lived your life like a bourbon in the rain... 24 Nov 2012 | 12:02 pm

It's 11:07pm on November 23, 2012 and Sir Lawrence Hagman...is not alive. He's dead. Larry Hagman died. And I wasn't there. I WASN'T. THERE. Patrick Duffy was! Linda Gray was! Why wasn't I?! Why didn'...

Then Again, They May Have a Point 5 Jun 2012 | 03:16 pm

Well, okay. I just finished writing that post being snippy about people not hiring me, and then… well, here’s what happened. Giant Camel, who has “marketable skills” and “a pleasant demeanor,” is at ...

Fuck Work, Unless You’re Hiring 4 Jun 2012 | 01:03 pm

Weeeeeeeell, I’ve got some good news and some not-so-good news. And then some more not-so-good news. Let’s go in reverse order: I did not get the job I thought I was going to get. During my interview...

HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD 27 Apr 2012 | 06:38 pm

First and foremost, I have no idea why the last star isn't filled in all the way. Why don't you tell me? Second and secondmost, I wrote this really unnecessarily long introduction about how I discover...

The Turner-Neal Awkwardness Index 26 Apr 2012 | 04:12 pm

In all the talk about Wikipedia’s effects on academia, how people consume information, and the internet at large, I feel like one point gets consistently left out: it makes weird people weirder. I hav...

A Complete List of Things That Make Me Nauseous, by Meghan Rowland 25 Apr 2012 | 05:48 pm

- Riding in cars backwards - Riding on trains backwards - Not riding on the metro backwards (it can’t be explained it) - My dad’s “city driving” - My “I’m late driving” - Driving on winding roads...