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Alcohol 23 Aug 2013 | 04:05 pm

I'm not a puritan (I couldn't give up sex and I don't like Cornflakes) but I drink so little I could be a teetotaller. It has to be a special occasion indeed for alcohol to pass my lips. Most of the...

Wasp Flavoured Toast 19 Aug 2013 | 03:49 pm

Maybe he was depressed? Maybe he was just tired of life? I'm not sure if wasps have any natural predators (aside from humans protecting their jam sandwiches) but it's possible his family had been wip...

Pornification 31 Jul 2013 | 12:25 am

So the Co-operative has issued an ultimatum to the UK’s lad’s mag publishers: cover up or push off. Basically, the publishers of such literary gems as Nuts, Loaded and Zoo have until 9th September to...

ATM WTF 26 Jul 2013 | 11:44 pm

I have a real problem with ATMs Not just the fundamental issue of having to rely on a machine to present me with my own money in order to buy food to ensure my on-going survival – it’s something a li...

Special Delivery 23 Jul 2013 | 04:18 am

Due to my little boy’s insistence I happened to catch an episode of Postman Pat the other day. And you know what it’s like; when you haven’t seen something for a long time and then you are unexpectedl...

Just One Cornetto 21 Jul 2013 | 01:38 am

Before I proceed with my review of The World's End can I just say how gutted I was? Absolutely gutted. Unbelievably gutted. I seem to recall something similar happening with Wright-Pegg-Frost's last...

Pitch 14 Jul 2013 | 05:03 pm

In response to absolutely no customer demand whatsoever I have decided to take the commercially unviable step of republishing my poetry collection – Pitch Mandible Stone (previously only available on ...

An Itch You Cannot Scratch 12 Jul 2013 | 11:56 pm

It is official. Our cats are agents of pestilence and biological warfare. I can only surmise that my enemies – of which I have many, (some highly placed in both the Royal family and the television i...

Prince Harry To Lead Native Americans In Open Revolt 6 Jul 2013 | 05:27 pm

The great thing about the modern world and social networking is that news can be delivered instantaneously in sound-bite form so that it is quickly and immediately digestible. I no longer need to wade...

Look Out Outlook 3 Jul 2013 | 03:32 am

Back in my younger days, when I was single and had no care to be respectable, I had a joyous relationship with Hotmail. So much so I had several Hotmail email accounts. If I wanted to sign up to a w...

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