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The Trick that Time Lords Know 31 Oct 2012 | 07:24 am

thedorkknightreturns.com “Miniature ponies,” I say. “Actual horses, yes, but very small.” Several moments pass. “What?” my realtor asks. I can remember a time when explaining myself was embarrassi...

Words from Stephen Fry 26 Oct 2012 | 09:41 am

I’ll be back on Halloween for one post, and then another hiatus. There will be a change of websites too. I’ll let you all know what the new url will be. I’ll be leaving up all the stories though. Th...

Different 3 Jul 2012 | 02:06 pm

BC Woods circle August 2011 I’m not coming back, yet. I don’t know if I ever will. I still need some time to stew. But I’m different and I wanted you to know. The New Guy circa July of 2012

Lights Out 1 Apr 2012 | 01:40 pm

Well folks, it’s lights out. Just a bit of housekeeping left. If you somehow missed the last four months, I’m going to try to do other things with my life now. I don’t know what all that includes, b...

Grays Harbor and Story Telling: The Mill 7 Oct 2011 | 07:45 am

“I remember back when filers were FILERS, man.” There is a murmur of agreement around the millwright lunch table at this statement. There is a pounding fists on the tabletop. There are entreaties to ...

Starfish Belly Rock 23 Sep 2011 | 10:18 am

My grandfather smelled like Gillette shaving cream, Old Spice cologne and deodorant, and… take the plastic handle of a Craftsman screwdriver. Smell it. That smell too. Under this, he smelled a bit lik...

Fuck You Hot, Fuck You Cold 8 Sep 2011 | 08:45 am

I’m careful when I run to the rig floor. I’m careful because you can’t touch anything on the rig if you’re not wearing gloves. No one told me this rule and no one had to, because it’s something I lea...

Crazy Chicks Dig Writers 18 Aug 2011 | 08:32 pm

“Are you a writer or something?” Startled, I look up to find a woman’s face inexplicably several inches away from my own. She’s thirty-something, dark-haired, voluptuous… and she’s chewing gum right ...

The Knower of Rapscallions 16 Aug 2011 | 11:25 pm

“Young man, as I watch you sitting there, counting ever so frantically, I must ask: is it your intention to pilfer these goods in my hand?” Around three dollars in change, held in the old man’s palm,...

The Man with the Penis-Shaped Nose Tumor 15 Aug 2011 | 07:22 am

One day, when I’m rich, I’ll start a charity to help the man with the penis-shaped nose tumor. Or so I solemnly promise myself, as I watch him through the window of the bus, my breath faintly fogging ...

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