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“No point mentioning those bats, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough.” 16 Jul 2013 | 05:40 am

Okay, you guys are my favorite as-yet-un-real-life people, and I’m going to miss you. But due to a series of catastrophic cascading bad luck culminating in my complete lack of working computer, husban...

From The Appreciative Video Files 23 May 2013 | 06:34 am

Confession: I have never wanted to be an astronaut, but I do still wish I’d taken the time to become a Buddhist monk. I look pretty good in orange. Plus, free rice.

From The Video Files 19 May 2013 | 05:42 am

Incredibly earwormy. Confession: I was once banned from third grade show-and-tell for announcing Daddy was a unicorn too, but the horn was really messed up. There were parent-teacher conferences and l...

From The Video Files Part 68 13 May 2013 | 04:30 pm

Confession: I know most of you have gagged at the thought of watching Gaga but honestly, it’s worth it for the outfits. I want those shoes. What shoes? All the shoes. I am a shoe slut. I lust after we...

From The Video Files Of Classics 9 May 2013 | 04:38 pm

I bought H a bottle of this stuff based solely on this commercial. It gave him a rash but I made him keep using it anyway, waiting patiently through the whining and scratching for the transformation. ...

From The Video Files Part 205 7 May 2013 | 03:14 pm

Confession: I have been Stacy’s mom, back in the day. Oh my yes. College freshmen, dear gawd on a pogostick, how lovely and desperate they were. Tsk. And stop making that face, I was only about 5 year...

How Was My Day, You Ask? 16 Apr 2013 | 06:44 am

Dear Harry Gordon Selfridge, Congrats on the store inventage. However, your credo skills lack the realism and validity required to be considered in any way applicable to…. well, to anyone who’s ever w...

Things To Do While The Cable Is Out 31 Mar 2013 | 05:15 pm

I don’t know why in the fuck it took me all this time to discover this wonderful new hobby: I put on khaki pants and a blue shirt and hang around Walmars answering GenPop in the way I’ve always wanted...

Drive By 5 Feb 2013 | 07:48 pm

One of my relatives is working her way through college as a pizza delivery driver… “Something they never mention in training… when you deliver to some guys, penises just pop out of boxers. ” and “I ha...

Crazy People Don’t Age. H Will Live Forever 2 Feb 2013 | 10:22 pm

H is sometimes a Special Snowflake of epic proportions.

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