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phantom pain 9 Aug 2013 | 04:19 am

THE “WISDOM” OF NORA A few days ago I had to wake Nora up for a morning appointment. I know I won’t feel this way when I have to drag her teenage ass out of bed at noon, but right now the memories of...

strange but not a stranger 29 Jul 2013 | 07:36 pm

If this blog and I were long-term sexual partners, right now we would be having timing issues. I get all revved up to Do It when It is impossible to Do (middle of the workday, barely conscious after a...

clicky clank 10 Jul 2013 | 12:17 am

I BE FIXING UP MY DWELLING-PLACE You know what’s not so great for someone with ordering-focused OCD and general anxiety issues? Home renovation. Where the fuck is everything? When you get all the th...

please have package available 25 Jun 2013 | 11:13 pm

1. It is interestingly ironic how yoga-folks and other Eastern-influenced-spirituality people always say things like, “Listen to your body” and “Your body knows what it needs.” Because aren’t you righ...

order Artiodactyla 12 Jun 2013 | 09:13 pm

Someone practically begged me to explain a throwaway sentence from a few entries ago, where I promised/threatened to explain why vegans are terrible at measuring things. If cooking bores you, bail now...

present contrafactual 1 Jun 2013 | 06:01 pm

YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN EXPECTING A NICE TIME Today I witnessed a spectacular meltdown from a customer at the post office who felt she was experiencing rudeness and a bad attitude from said post off...

unmoderate 11 May 2013 | 09:56 pm

Today I learned that separating banana stems from the bunch prevents them from ripening too fast, because I guess the banana peer-group influence is strong and bananas tend to follow the crowd. In a b...

introduced into the blood-stream 5 May 2013 | 06:38 pm

After days and days away, for reasons general and psychological and geographical and time-constraint-ical, we really have no choice but to resort to Ye Olde Numbered List if I want to tell you things....

take a walk on the mild side 20 Apr 2013 | 10:59 pm

SEMI-LENGTHY SILENCE, SEMI-EXPLAINED 1. A mysterious revulsion at the very idea of communicating (and thus shaping) my thoughts. A desire for a return to some mute shadowy realm of Platonic forms. 2...

make it safe and clean 4 Apr 2013 | 08:47 pm

CONTACT LAW ENFORCEMENT, I AM UNCONCERNED I just put eye cream—cream formulated specifically for eyes—all over my face. It felt nice and, well, creamy, so I just kept going with it. Yeah that’s right...

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