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Year Twelve: Your Song 26 Aug 2013 | 09:35 pm

Benjamin Maxwell, At the highly polite hour of 2:50 in the afternoon on August 20, 2001, my life was forever altered. Certainly, people say this sort of thing, attempting to make a situation sound th...

If You Work For A Living, Why Do You Kill Yourself To Work? 20 Aug 2013 | 09:11 pm

So, Pranksters, brace yourself. I have an announcement: I have, once again, decided to leave the nursing field. (if any one of you is surprised, you should probably take off your sweat pants – there...

Local Woman Claims “Only Thing Worse Than Having an iPhone 4S is NOT Having iPhone 4S” 15 Aug 2013 | 09:19 pm

St. Charles, IL – an area woman often known as “Aunt Becky,” although she is, at time of print, not an actual aunt to anyone at all, claims that “the only thing worse than having an iPhone 4S is not h...

27 Ways To Make Enemies and Lose Friends 8 Aug 2013 | 01:45 am

With a little help from mah friend Jason. Also? Have been blogging on my Frugal Living Blog again. 1) Order sweet potato fries for the whole table, then, rather than share, grab the basket and lick ...

She Spent The Next Several Months Making Room For Him To Stay 5 Aug 2013 | 10:51 pm

“Hey! Rebecca!” My father exclaimed in the gleeful way he does now that he’s retired and in the mood to fuck with me. “Yeeeesss?” I looked up briefly from my phone, where I’d been frantically editing...

Leather Face 1 Aug 2013 | 10:11 pm

When most people consider moving from a house to an apartment, they see it as a step down. Like ordering creme brulee and getting a dish of plain vanilla soft-serve (WITHOUT the all-important sprinkle...

Kitty Porn 30 Jul 2013 | 01:00 am

Scene: Me, entering the bedroom after depleting the minor reserves of piss in my squirrel sized bladder; cursing my parents for allowing an experiment to be performed in which a squirrel’s bladder was...

Aunt Becky’s Piss-Poor Guide To BlogHer 18 Jul 2013 | 09:09 pm

So, first things first. I know most of you read my blog in a reader *waves at reader people* which is all good, because I would too*. Today, however, you need to pop through. No, seriously, get your ...

Independence 18 Jul 2013 | 12:30 am

“Think of all the FREE TIME you’ll have,” my well-meaning friends assured me when I confessed that I was devastated by moving out of my home. Free time, I mused (while probably pooping). What a novel...

My Scale Has Borderline Personality Disorder 1 Jul 2013 | 06:50 pm

I’ve been doing a lot of Deep Thinking, which is not easy for someone like me. Even if gnomes hadn’t absconded with my brain and eaten it slathered with ice cream and sprinkles, I think the three chil...

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