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#4261 22 Aug 2013 | 05:49 pm

There’s this romantic propaganda that you meet soulmates at bookstores when in reality you just meet creepy baristas who follow you around until you’re reduced to hiding behind shelves and copies of I...

#4260 22 Aug 2013 | 05:49 pm

As 29 burly Royal Marine Commando's stood around and watched me crawl over the last hurdle in the 8 hour assault course we'd all just completed, the one who had bullied me for being tiny and female bu...

#4259 19 Aug 2013 | 04:01 am

The magistrate asked me if I had been wearing a 'sexy dress that would provoke weaknesses in men' at the time.

#4258 19 Aug 2013 | 04:00 am

Whilst Egypt burns around him and apaches fly overhead, my father makes sweet potato scones with his dog.

#4257 19 Aug 2013 | 03:59 am

For some reason, when my mother told me about my transgender cousin, she kept focusing on "He got his penis chopped off."

#4256 15 Aug 2013 | 12:41 am

Enclosed in the card admonishing me to watch what I eat, was a 33-cents-off coupon for a tube of refrigerated cookie dough.

#4255 15 Aug 2013 | 12:40 am

I live in a town so small that the hospital is terrifyingly close to both the cemetery and the local taxidermist.

#4254 8 Aug 2013 | 07:31 am

After reading everyone's personal essay, I realize I'm the only person in a class of twenty-three who doesn't smoke pot.

#4253 8 Aug 2013 | 07:30 am

The only thing my ex wanted from the divorce was not to have to cover our disabled child on his health insurance plan.

#4252 8 Aug 2013 | 07:30 am

One morning, I puked in my own lap while driving 75mph on a six-lane New Jersey thruway and the only thing I could do was keep driving, laugh, and call my mom.

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