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Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow. A rock-hard, aureola-less, pimple-nipple sandbag of a bosom, but still. (submitted by Carmen)

HAIRLIP GOLLUM CHRIST.

Our Holy Father of the Botched Boob Job (submitted by conglomeratiparty)

Don’t worry, guys, I was a Caesarean section baby, and this is actually totally accurate. (via discardingimages)

Australopithecus Christ! (SCIENCE JOKE, GUYS)

Alright, the Madonna definitely made that apple into a bong.

Virgin Mary, Patron Saint of the Itty-Bitty Titty Committee. Sorry about that, Baby J. I’d suggest formula.

Listen guys, this really isn’t that weird. Osteoporosis is a very real danger, and this man is simply taking proactive steps to avoid it. Geez.

HAY GUISE LOL WATS UP.

Silly baby, vertebrae don’t work that way.