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Quote of the Day 27 Aug 2013 | 05:00 pm

“Smithers, guess what happened to me last night?” – C.M. Burns “I don’t know, sir.  You had sex with that old woman?” – Mr. Smithers “She said no to me!  Do you know how many women have said no to me?...

Quote of the Day 26 Aug 2013 | 05:00 pm

“Though I’ll be inoculating babies in Kampuchea, my heart will always be with you.” – Lisa Simpson “That sucks.  How ’bout ‘Crocodiles bit off my face’?” – Bart Simpson “That’s disgusting.  And beside...

Quote of the Day 25 Aug 2013 | 05:00 pm

“Come on, Bart, while your Dad gets his glasses we’ll go shop for your trip.” – Marge Simpson “Oh, I hate shopping.  Just get me a deck of cards and I’ll win whatever I need from the other kids.” – Ba...

Quote of the Day 24 Aug 2013 | 05:00 pm

“I knew all this stuff would come in handy someday.  Let’s see now, ah, here it is: the Complete Handyman’s Bookshelf, Volume 1, Spice Racks.” – Homer Simpson

Reading Digest: Summer Lull Edition 23 Aug 2013 | 09:10 pm

“Well, you’re certainly doing your job today, Mr. Sun.  Oh, rats.” – Hans Moleman The internet didn’t have much by way of Simpsons stuff this week, so it must be the middle of August.  We do have so....

Quote of the Day 23 Aug 2013 | 05:00 pm

“Our first issue, sir, is our low productivity and record high worker accident rate.” – Mr. Smithers “Any suggestions?” – C.M. Burns “A round of layoffs might wake up the idiots.” – Male Executive “We...

Today I Am a Clown Makes Baby Jesus Cry 22 Aug 2013 | 09:02 pm

Image shamelessly yoinked from here. “This is worse than your song about Mr. T.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon “I pity the fool who doesn’t like . . . he.” – Homer Simpson This episode has a cavalcade...

Quote of the Day 22 Aug 2013 | 05:00 pm

“So, kids, caught anything?” – Dave Shutton “Not yet, sir.” – Lisa Simpson “What are you using for bait?” – Dave Shutton “My brother’s using worms.  But I, who feel the tranquility far outweighs the a...

Quote of the Day 22 Aug 2013 | 03:33 am

“Oh, sweetie, you look so much better.  Ready to go back to school?” – Marge Simpson “I don’t know, I mean I could risk it, but-” – Lisa Simpson “No, no, you just stay put.” – Marge Simpson “Wow, you ...

Quote of the Day 20 Aug 2013 | 06:57 pm

“Oh, must you bray night and day at that infernal television?” – Sideshow Bob “Oh, look who’s talking.” – Minimum Security Inmate #1 “Yeah, Bob, you used to be on this show.” – Minimum Security Inmate...

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