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Smoketober 8 Oct 2012 | 03:38 pm

The writer Michael Pollan, in his polemic against the hijacking of nutrition by food marketers, advises readers to avoid all foods which are sold with health claims. (The refined sugar and flour confe...

There Will Always Be An England (and it’s wearing red trousers) 4 Jun 2012 | 02:40 am

All of Britain is gripped by Jubilee fever if the media is to be believed. The coverage I caught on Daybreak earlier in the week before breaking out in hives suggested they’d flown over a big shot pro...

Crushed backs and other celebrations 13 May 2012 | 09:58 am

I was fine until about half-an-hour ago but now I’m like Martin Sheen in the opening scene of Apocalypse Now. Alone with absolutely nothing on TV, pacing despite being declared medically unfit to stan...

A night in the kitchen with ants 11 May 2012 | 08:54 am

After a late-night slog in the office there’s nothing like the prospect of returning home to a house infested with flying ants to add cheer at the end of the day. Where they have come from I know not...

Djibril Cisse gave me whiplash (and I liked it) 8 May 2012 | 05:07 am

There’s living proof in my sorry arsed form that it’s possible to suffer whiplash watching Queens Park Rangers. A split second after Djibril Cisse scored an 89th minute winner to pull us out of the re...

Osama Bin Llama: rebranding al-Queda 4 May 2012 | 10:06 pm

Documents seized by U.S authorities in the raid on Osama Bin Laden’s hideout and just released reveal the global terror chief was planning a change of name and strategic approach for al-Queda’s ‘tarni...

How to get into PR and stay in it: luck, sweat and tears 21 Mar 2012 | 09:55 am

It’s the time of year when those young enough fortunate to have a future ahead of them ponder the big decisions in life such as what university course to take or, approaching graduation, what career t...

I Fought the Law (and the workshop won) 1 Nov 2011 | 03:32 am

I’m becoming more convinced by the day that God exists. Not only that, he reads Blokely, has a malevolent sense of humour – how else does one explain the West Midlands accent – and he very much has it...

A stroke of bad luck 8 Oct 2011 | 02:39 am

Apparently I’m likely to have a stroke and not of the good luck variety. That’s according to the letter of invitation for a scan at the local village hall, opened in good faith and read as a fine acco...

100 Minutes of Solitude 8 Oct 2011 | 02:24 am

I really better do something before the girlfriend comes round later this afternoon. There’s a plate in the kitchen table next to the laptop that would make Tracey Emin think twice. It’s the accumulat...

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